A new year (not yet, but you get it) and a new format.  I figure you know me by now and I believe I have complained long enough about the unnecessary personal worries of my life that prove to have no validity in relation to the bigger picture of society’s issues.  Therefore, in my attempt to save the world (geez, I have to do everything) I will graciously accept my role of a more satirical and consistent writer in order to divert the demons of anxiety and begin to love the world again through humorous dislike (that doesn’t make sense).  So be it!

My posts will be shorter and less vague; I will stop combining multiple affairs that only I know how to follow the transitions because for some reason I sound smart in my mind.  Also, a weekly post will benefit all of us, perhaps on a Monday (like this one, had it planned out already) to start your week off fresh instead of stuck in a state of grogginess until Tuesday afternoon.  I can’t think of anything clever to say now, so let’s get moving.


“Yeah I want it/ I need it/ to make a million/Yeah I love it/ a fucking rock star.”
-The Union Underground, “Turn me on, ‘Mr. Deadman’”

The question of whether or not college football players should be compensated for their services on the field has been brought up this season, and why not, a majority of them already use the money they have (how do they have money when they don’t get paid?) to break the law, build enormous egos, fondle women inappropriately, and decorate their bodies enough to reach their ultimate goal of unemployment after not reaching the professional level.

The reigning Heisman Trophy winner, Johnny Manziel, let fame find a place in his gigantic head (ego, not brain).  It’s there, but it could be lost amongst the stupid decisions, lack of common sense, and the identity crisis of being a Texas-bred quarterback or a Pisano from Brooklyn.  Players win the Heisman for a reason, and there is nothing to argue about the Texas A&M quarterback’s freshman campaign so kudos to the kid, but the honor doesn’t necessarily define his dollar worth, and neither does his signature.

It doesn’t automatically shape your future as an NFL quarterback, either.  For example: Tim Tebow, Troy Smith (go Buckeyes!), Matt Leinart, Jason White, Eric Crouch, Chris Weinke, Danny Wuerful, Charlie Ward (who played basketball instead), Gino Torretta, Ty Detmer, and Andre Ware.  There may be others, but to be fair I decided to only list the disappointing careers during my lifespan (mine doesn’t count; we’re not talking about me).

Why would someone pay for a signature from a player who is just a college student?  In retrospect, why would anyone pay a college athlete a salary?  No one is paying graduate students during their unpaid internships (duh).  No one is paying a pre-med student just to study through all hours of the night in order to achieve acceptance into medical school and the rigorous journey to follow.  No one is paying a philosophy major just to come to the realization that their degree sucks and eventually attend law school to avoid working at their college-town gas station the rest of their life selling booze and late-night snacks to already-stoned football players.

Quite frankly, football players on scholarship already get paid.  We will focus on Manziel’s soon to be alma mater as an example.  To attend Texas A&M it costs $38,701 a year between tuition and fees, room and board, books and supplies, travel, and personal expenses (TA&M, 2011).  According to the NCAA, all those costs are included in a full-ride football scholarship.  Already a college football player has a larger salary than I do, but don’t forget the access to trainers, medical professionals, and exercise equipment that a normal person pays hundreds of dollars a month for; not to mention free travel to towns no one wants to go, lodging, food, and the occasionally tutor if academics are important to them.  How awful for those kids.

Oh, then multiply that number by four.  If my math is correct (and it should be because I’m using a calculator), a college football player, such as Manziel, could potentially make $154,804 over the course of his career before the age of 22, and have no debt afterwards.  Around 37 million college students and graduates in the United States can’t say that (ASA, 2013).

Then the argument of Universities not providing enough money towards their football programs is raised.  Let’s bust out the trusty calculator again and do some college-level (elementary) math.  Each FBS school is awarded 85 scholarships during one season (Wood, 2013).  $38,701 x 85 = $3,289,585 a year towards those poorly treated football players and their ignored program.  Multiply that by four again, well, you get the point.  Of course ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise offer no support either; and don’t give me that shit about players receiving money for their identity on a jersey or bobbleheads or what not.  Most writers don’t get royalties, and that is a post-college career.

If you want to be paid to play then work hard enough to make it to the NFL.  You don’t see businesses paying college students (outside of internship requirements) before they hire them while they are still working towards their degree.  I get there is hard work and physical strain and the possibility of injury (you can get injured smoking weed and drinking at a party and getting into a fight or car accident by the way).  I’m an athlete as well and have been my whole life, but I don’t believe risk is an excuse considering most college football players are on the team voluntarily.  If money is important, go and get a job and build up some debt like the rest of us.  If football is important, play the game and shut up.

Keep moving those money fingers, Johnny; you’re not a rock star.  More dudes would rather hang out with the cheerleaders than you anyway; we might as well be paying them, but then again those dudes can just go pay a stripper and they didn’t dance in college, they dance to “pay for college”.

ASA. (2013). Student loan debt statistics. Retrieved from   on 11/27/13

Texas A&M. (2011). Cost of attendance. Retrieved from      on 11/27/13

Wood, R. (2013). Crunching the numbers: football scholarships. Retrieved from                                                                       on         11/27/13



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