“To tell the truth I can’t remember that much/ Goddammit I was suckerpunced”
-Butch Walker & the Black Widows, “Suckerpunch”

The ‘knockout game’ is becoming another American pastime; a true example of where this nation stands as a country right now.  If readers are not familiar with this lame and cowardly competition, an individual is dared by their peers to bring an innocent pedestrian to the ground with one strike from behind.  The video is then uploaded via cell phone because not only are the assailants stupid, they really try to make sure they get caught.  I’m glad people are finally using technology for its correct and most-productive purposes.

Nothing exemplifies manliness like striking an elderly woman in the head from behind.  Of course that’s if that man is a terrified little boy who is too cowardly to approach a man or large butch woman face to face.  This is proven as they scurry away with their friends laughing and acknowledging the fact that everyone in the group is a gigantic loser that contributes nothing to society.

As expected by our seemingly bored national media, there have been claims that these attacks are hoaxes and myths aimed to shine a dim light on minorities once again (NY Post).  Blah, blah, blah.  Seriously, we don’t have to play the race card on everything, it can put back in the deck every once in a while; it doesn’t make you a racist to not blame something on racism.  The truth is that there’s video evidence of the assaults, yet the reports are trying to justify this conduct.  It’s partially due to the fact that the public can’t fathom the notion that this third-world behavior is happening in the United States.   No one should care about the race of the attacker (NY Post); they need to start worrying about the safety of the victim.

Below is exactly what should happen while an idiot is playing the game, and there should be no sympathy for him. The link is fine.

Uneducated and undisciplined cowards are roaming the streets, and now the general public is paranoid.  It’s not just about the attack now; people are going to be on the defense and carrying weapons to guard them against possible criminal activity (just like after Mr. Holmes’ portrayal as the Joker).  Skepticism and fear are horrible attributes to carry in public, and though there are more cheers than jeers for self-defense, it’s only a matter of time before an innocent person kills another innocent person because of misinterpretation stemmed from over-exposure by the media.  This country is turning into an anti-social realm hiding behind tough words protected by social networking and blogs (wait a minute, I blog, how rude).  According to all these self-proclaimed Good Samaritans, it’s much easier to blame something on someone rather than helping a person in dire need.

I don’t know what I would do in a “knockout game” situation if it happened in my proximity.  It’s easy for people to say what they will do, but acting out on their declaration is another thing.  This shouldn’t be an issue though because it’s not like we live in ancient Rome; there aren’t gladiators and barbarians fighting to the death for honor or to prove a point.  It’s not like we live in modern-day Brazil where it’s okay to split a referee into four pieces after a red card turned into a murder, then into a slaughter.

Jeepers, a solution!  Have the “knockout” all-stars go down to Brazil for the World Cup and try their little game on one of those crazy people, or an unexpected Croatian smoking a cigarette with a scar on his face for whatever reason, or some feisty Mexican who probably has a buddy about to suckerpunch the suckerpuncher, or a Spaniard who will avoid the assailant with stunning flamenco moves, or an Australian who will say, “dis isa nighfe,” and beat the hell out them, or a Brit who will also beat the hell out of them while correcting their grammar, or an Italian who will baffle them with a violent use of dialect, or a French person who may spit on them and call them a slur that sounds like a compliment, or an Iranian who (I don’t think we should touch that one), or a German who (well you know what happened the last time someone pissed off a German), or a Swiss person who may or may not take their side.  Pretty much all of the above applies for Russian people.

This is fun; the other 21 World Cup teams will have to be made fun of at a later time (here’s looking at you Greece and Korea, but you already do a well enough job on your own).

You can bring back the race card now if you don’t have a sense of humor.  Soccer is a real game; knockouts are an activity for cowards.  We have it pretty damn well here in comparison to places like Algeria, Bosnia, Cameroon, Columbia, Costa Rica, Ecuador, Ghana, Honduras, Nigeria, the Ivory Coast, and Uruguay (they are also in the World Cup if you weren’t picking up on that).  Can we please stop screwing it up for a little?

NY Post Editorial. (2013). The right response to the ‘knockout game’. Retrieved from on December 11,                            2013

Rothman, N. (2013). Woman reportedly beats the heck out of ‘knockout game’ attacker. Retrieved from                     on                        December 11, 2013.


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