MAKING A KILLING ON CRAIGSLIST

“She’s a killer queen, Gunpowder, gelatin, Dynamite with a laser beam, Guaranteed to blow your mind, Anytime.”
-Queen, “Killer Queen”

So begins another wonderful chapter in the technological advancement of our nation; the nation of freedom, opportunity, growth, privilege, support, charity, and power; the nation of teens answering online advertisements for “companionship”, lying about their age and marital status, then tag-teaming victims to death. Oh, what a county indeed. The only thing that’s separating the first world from the third world at the moment is data usage.

It’s bad enough citizens can’t drink the water in West Virginia. That’s an all-time low, even for the Mountain State. I think we need to revaluate that title. How about the “Hilly State”? If we’re doing that, we may as well just add “Billy” to the equation. It will come to you.

However, this isn’t some ghetto in India of a Carribean island that shouldn’t be visited outside of a five-star resort for safety and health purposes. If that’s the case, people should just stay in America; bad water gives it that island feel. 300,000 people in Charleston, WV were left without access to clean water after a chemical spill on January, 9th, 2014 (Gabriel, 2014). Take at look at what they had to resort to.

WV 1
Photo Courtesy of NY Times

Check out the guy rocking the Mountaineer’s sweatshirt. You have to represent no matter what the situation is. However, not only can that guy not get water, but he can’t even answer classified ads or put himself out there to find his true love for the night because of people like this.

Killers
Photo Courtesy of humboldsentinel.com

Miranda and Elytte (don’t name your kids something weird of they will turn out weird) Barbour admitted to the slaying of Troy LaFerrera, who they contacted through Craigslist. In a testimony, Miranda went on to say that she has murdered at least 22 people over the last six years from Alaska to North Carolina (Frizell, 2014) , seriously contaminating the entire county. She’s obviously a chemical spill of imbalance (see what I did there? Eh, not my best). She even told authorities that if released, she will kill again.

The Pennsylvania girl attempted to link herself to Satanism, but the misunderstood religion’s spokesman, Lucien Greaves (name by birth?), told reporters that the organization has no affiliation with the girl, and doesn’t support her actions in any way; it is a lawful church (Savastio, 2014). For those who don’t know, Satanists don’t necessarily worship Satan; they are more like atheists in a sense. However, some do look at the figure as a god (pre-fallen angel and pre-Jehovah), but most are in agreement that Satan is more symbolic and fictional, and practitioners celebrate themselves as own “gods”. They have rules and values just like every other religion.

more you know
Photo Courtesy of mentalunlockdown.com

Anyway, Miranda is a different breed; a young female serial killer; she is only 19 years of age. There are different factors that contribute to the actions of psychopath. They could have had an abusive childhood experience, they could develop mental conditions such as paranoid schizophrenia or extreme sexual fetishes, stress disorders, social or environmental influences, genetics, decreased connectivity of the amygdale and the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (what?) causing weak emotions, or whatever other option is proving that psychologists still have trouble depicting what exactly makes a psychopath (Brogaard, 2012).

Miranda could be struggling with moral sensibility, claiming that she only killed “bad” people; comparing herself to Dexter Morgan, a FICTIONAL CHARACTER who was portrayed by Michael C. Hall on the hit Showtime series. She didn’t want to follow the rules though she understood what she was doing, yet she wanted others to act appropriately as society intended them to. Contradiction is an ugly trait; even for people trying to hook up on Craigslist.

However, this could be just a combination of teenage know-it-all angst with stupidity with the seclusion of networking and easy access to private matters. As much as the nation is advancing in technology, and as much as society is praising the easy lifestyle, it may just be creating careless psychopaths.

Now, people are having trust issues. Adam Lanza, James Holmes, Christopher Dorner, the mall shootings, the school shootings, knockout games, racial assumptions and vengeful intentions, the DC shootings awhile back, and all the people in jail (a little over 1.5 million inmates) have placed the possibility of tragedy happening anywhere at any time in the frightened minds of the populace. The serial killers of past are rolling in their graves at the recklessness of crime in the modern era.

What’s the point of having a good time if you can’t tell out-of-taste jokes or search for sex through classified ads? Have you ever read those things and the missed connections? Maybe it will bring a little humor back into your life so everyone isn’t on edge anymore.

You can’t drink the water in West Virginia, and you can’t trust teenage girls from Pennsylvania. Maybe it’s a regional thing; they do border each other. Nah, the third world epidemic is spreading through our first world problems from coast to coast. We’re doing it to ourselves.

Brogaard. B. (2012). Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-superhuman-mind/201212/the-making-serial-killer on February 21, 2014

Frizell, S. (2014). Retrieved from http://nation.time.com/2014/02/16/craigslist-killer-satanic-cult/ on February 21, 2014

Gabriel, T. (2014). Retrived from http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/11/us/west-virginia-chemical-spill.html?_r=1 on February 21, 2014

Savastio, R. (2014). Retrieved from http://guardianlv.com/2014/02/satanists-say-no-way-to-accused-craigslist-killer-amanda-barbour/ on February 21, 2014

SOUTHERNERS MYSTIFIED BY WHITE SUBSTANCE FALLING FROM SKY, CLAIM WORLD IS COMING TO AN END.

“I never want to see a day, That’s over forty degrees, I’d rather have it thirty, Twenty, ten, five and let it freeze.”
-FM Static, “Snow Miser”

Weather plays a significant role in the daily morning information provided to Americans. Meteorologists (fancy term for weather chick) explain what’s happening around your area every five minutes or so, and still somehow don’t get it right in the end.

It’s the topic of conversation in the gym locker room, the first hour break at the office after people filter in late, and amongst the small talk with your local barista since that’s what they are dying to hear about 100 times a morning as they space out thinking about when their career will be more satisfactory.

Different areas of the nation are exposed to more violent storms and wintery weather than others; the Southeast recently suffered from some problematic ice storms causing drivers to freak out during this unheard of experience, the Northeast is losing power again (what’s new?), the regular North has been frozen for centuries (watch out for the “White Walkers”), and the Southwest is once again struggling to understand why it snows in specific regions that are 4,900 feet above sea level in the middle of a mountain range during Winter.

I was visiting my little cousins in Edwards, CO a couple weekends ago and there was easily over two feet of snow on the roads, and yet they still had to attend school. Good. When I was living in Southbury, CT there was around two feet of snow on the hood of my car that I had to shovel off and scratch my paint because work and school still wasn’t cancelled or on a delay. Good. Other times I was late because we had to wait for the plow; and there were times that I even had to stay home, but still remote in. Work and school are always on in these areas because they have to save their allotted snow days for real problems.

Allotted snow days? Wait? Winter break, Spring break, holidays, in-services, and Summer break aren’t enough time off for the kids? It’s very difficult to find an exact number of which counties in America offer what amount of days off, but let’s say 7-14 as a swing average depending on the region. However, I’m going to focus on three random cities (to you, kind of).

Average annual snowfall in Edwards, CO: 46.7” (Weather, 2014)
Average annual snowfall in Southbury, CT: 43.3” (Weather, 2014)
Average annual snowfall in Albuquerque, NM: 9.6” (Weather, 2014)

I saw more than 9.6” in the aforementioned gym locker room this morning. Hey-o! As many people have preached over the years, all children are created equal; they probably said, “all men are created equal,” but we live in a very sensitive society now where political correctness is the basis of all life and people get bent out of shape about an assumption concerning something that isn’t important.
However, why does somewhere like Albuquerque have allotted days off equal to regions that actually need them?

There are usually three types of alerts: Two-Hour Delays, closures, and early dismissals. Sure the temperature raises five degrees in two hours, and the plows have time to clear the roads as best they can, but going from 13-18 degrees doesn’t necessarily melt ice. However, I didn’t pay much attention in science class, maybe if I had a certain amount of extra days to absorb the information I probably could have a better formula for you.

Yes, it gets very cold in the desert, and yes it sometimes snows, but by the time the sun comes out, Albuquerque residents are back to “sweatshirt” instead of “jacket” weather. The main issue is black ice, but given the territory and the population; it’s more of a user error that there are delays rather than actual weather. Let’s have an example, shall we?

If a person has a four-wheel drive car that isn’t lowered and doesn’t have 20’s on it then that person should be more than capable to drive in the snow. However, image is more important than safety to some.

Now that schools offer their delays, students get a vacation day essentially, but it’s unfair and inconvenient because offices don’t close which throws the parents off schedule, especially if they have an hourly occupation. Even on a delay, their day is ruined.

On the other hand, if the weather is so bad to drive, why do you see so many people on the road? This isn’t a day off. The kids should be doing their homework, and parents should be working from home. What is this laziness teaching our kids? Let’s take a look at the State of New Mexico.

-It’s the third worst state for education according to the national average (Frolich, 2014).
-In 2013, middle school students were among the least proficient in math and reading based on national test scores (Frolich, 2014).
-The high school graduation rate is 59.4%; the worst in America (Frolich, 2014).

The top 10 educated states include Colorado, Pennsylvania, Vermont, New Hampshire, New Jersey, and Massachusetts (Frolich). Hmm? Colorado and the Northeast. Interesting.

The bottom 10 focused on the Southeast, including South Carolina, Alabama, Louisiana, and Mississippi (Frolich). Hmm? All states that aren’t accustomed to snow or driving in winter conditions, but still get days off. Interesting.

Maybe we should start giving the kids assignments during these winter delays and closures. An email to the parents saying that this is what they need to study or research. You know, we do have that technology now.

However, people are sledding down the slope of laziness and entitlement and skidding off the road towards a completed education. I overheard a conversation with a man on his cell phone while at the gym as his son was claiming he was sick. He assumed his son was faking because he says he’s sick every week. He told his son that he feels like crap, and he doesn’t want to go to work, but he still has to do it; so the boy must suffer as well. It was a strange approach, but an interesting one. If the kid doesn’t go to school then he will never be able to get a job he hates.

Ironically, I have the day off today because of Presidents Day. I would rather be at work. Ha! Ahh, life.

Frolich, T. (2014). Retrieved from http://247wallst.com/special-report/2014/01/14/states-with-the-best-and-worst-schools-2/5/ on February 14, 2014

Weather DB (2014). Retrieved from http://average-snowfall.weatherdb.com/ on February 14, 2014

BAD T-MOBILE ADS STARRING TIM TEBOW CURSE BRONCOS

“Today I am your champion, I may have won your hearts, But I know the game, You’ll forget my name, I won’t be here in another year.”
-Billy Joel, “The Entertainer”

There was a theory that if Tim Tebow were to have stayed in Denver he could have developed under the tutelage of arguably the greatest quarterback to ever play the game.  He could have learned how to disguise plays within Nebraskan cities, pick apart defenses, throw the ball where any average person can look like a superstar, and eventually end up disappointed in the end; just like the rest of us.  At least he found his place as an analyst for the B-squad on a B-network.

The 2014 Super Bowl for the 2013 season (I still haven’t figured that one out) was sub-par at best on all three levels; some being more tolerable than others.  Football fans across the nation eagerly await the big game even when their team isn’t competing; it’s an event, entertainment in the form of music, media, and sport.  It’s about fixing the mistakes of last year, overcoming hardships and impatience, and then eventually accepting the fact that a fresh start is on the horizon.  If you’re depressed, you can incorporate that philosophy into your everyday life.  Tim Tebow made the best of his situation, why can’t you?

Opera star, Renee Fleming, belted out the National Anthem for the uncultured to see how amazing someone’s vocal range can be in other genres of music.  She rivaled Jim Cornelison who starts the Blackhawks’ games in Chicago.  By the end of the day, the music was the best part of the event.

Bruno Mars surprisingly had a stunning performance for a “newbie”, surprisingly didn’t receive compensation outside of exposure, and surprisingly did sing the lyrics, “Your sex takes me to outer space,” in front of children and young adults, but everyone knows kids are starting early these days and the galactic reference makes it fun for everyone.  The Red Hot Chili Peppers danced around with their shirts off and instruments not plugged in begging the question why they were there in the first place.  It wasn’t their decision; the NFL probably didn’t want some really cool exaggerated version of a song to take up too much time.

Hendrix cityartsonline com
Photo courtesy of cityartsonline.com

But at least the power didn’t go out…

Beyonce glamour com
Photo courtesy of glamour.com

I’m glad she had a nice evil laugh about that.  That brings us to the commercials that are supposed to be funny and equally entertaining as the game was.  Well, advertisers accomplished one of those feats.  The spots are getting old; dramatic car commercials, American-based manufacturers, celebrities pushing products they probably would not be caught dead using, horrible attempts at humor, and worse attempts at being serious that turned out to be funny (in a bad way).  Honorable mentions go to: the cow, Radio Shack, Doritos’ time machine, and the Full House reunion.  I’m not sure any were worth the $4 million price tag for 30 seconds of air time though (Weisman, 2014).

And then the game…

Peyton 2 newyork cbslocal com
Photo courtesy of nycbslocal.com

We were all just as surprised as you were, Peyton.  We didn’t expect Joe Namath to come out in an obnoxious fur coat and screw up the coin toss.  Come to think of it, we would probably be more surprised if he didn’t do those things.  We all remember one of his last candid performances.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQqIQyT-RuM

So apparently defenses win championships.  The 1985 Bears, the 2000 Ravens, the 2002 Buccaneers, and now the 2013 Seahawks (Burke, 2014) all used extraordinary defensive performances to create boring games.  It was a disaster from the beginning for the Broncos: a first-play safety, a field goal drive, another field goal drive, an interception leading to a touchdown, an interception returned for a touchdown, and then it was halftime.

A kick return for a touchdown, a fumble leading to a touchdown, and then the Broncos finally sustained a drive making it a 36-8 game.  Seattle scored again later, and the final was 43-8 in favor of the Pacific Northwest’s osprey.

The game was uninteresting and over early in the third quarter when John Fox elected to punt while in Seattle territory.  This was the Super Bowl, not a preseason game to see who makes the team and not a regular season game to rest your players.  If things aren’t going your way, you need to make something happen to change that and take some risks.  However, it didn’t seem the Broncos wanted to play the game from the initial kickoff.

They are used to these blowouts in past Super Bowls though:

1978: Dallas 27 Denver 10
1987: NY Giants 39 Denver 20
1988: Washington 42 Denver 17*
1990: San Francisco 55 Denver 10
*The only other time an African-American quarterback has won the super bowl until now.  Wilson doesn’t look super black though (was that wrong to say?).  I’m surprised they didn’t focus on that more.

They won two in the late 90’s, but this isn’t about that.  Let’s focus on the team that won the game.  The truth is that it wasn’t the weather’s fault, it wasn’t Peyton’s fault, and it wasn’t anyone else’s fault.  The Broncos got outplayed by the Seahawks on offense, defense, and special teams.  Seattle was just a better team, fair and square.  They played as a team, and did almost everything correctly.  They were built on hard work, team unity, and ideology.

The Seahawks’ stars weren’t all first round draft choices or coveted players coming out of college.  Wilson was drafted in the 3rd round of 2012, Sherman went in the 5th round of 2011, Chancellor was drafted in the 5th round of 2010, and the MVP of the Super Bowl, Malcolm Smith, was a 7th round pick in 2011 (Sports Reference, 2013).

malcom smith nydailynews com
Photo courtesy of nydailynews.com

I would be happy too if I received a brand new truck and trip to Disneyworld for intercepting a pass, scoring a touchdown, recovering a fumble, and having 10 tackles (6 being unassisted).  Not a bad game at all, Mr. Smith, and not a bad game at all, Osprey.

osprey grahamowengallery com
Photo courtesy of grahamowengallery.com

It’s nice to see a franchise win their first Super Bowl, so congratulations to the Seahawks, but now they will be cheered against for years to come.  It’s time to start preparing for next year: new music acts, new marketing employees, and new teams all dedicated to making things a little more entertaining for the new season.

Millions of dollars were spent on music, millions of dollars were spent on commercials, millions of dollars were spent on player compensation, and millions of dollars were spent to make the Super Bowl a two-week event instead of a 60-minute game; and all we really wanted was some good football.

Maybe next year.

Burke, C. (2014). Retrieved from http://nfl.si.com/2014/02/04/best-defenses-super-bowl-era-seattle-seahawks/ on February 7, 2014

Sports Reference (2013). Retrieved from http://www.pro-football-reference.com/teams/sea/draft.htm on February 7, 2014

Weisman, A. (2014). Retrieved from http://www.businessinsider.com/bruno-mars-not-paid-to-perform-super-bowl-halftime-show-2014-1 on February 7, 2014