WANNA GET AWAY? AIRLINES NOW OFFERING FLIGHTS TO MARS

“Everyday convince myself of everything I can and can’t believe.”
-Pennywise, “Alien”

To latch on to the futuristic momentum of last week, we’re now looking into something that has intrigued the great minds of historical philosophers and children with tin foil: space. Of course, space travel is out of this world (soooo clever) when it comes to human growth and technological advancement, but colonizing another planet is making the unthinkable a reality. Times sure have changed since walking on the moon (or filming it happening in a studio; however you perceive it).

Did Neil Armstrong think of that great line? I guess he had a lot of time cooped up in that shuttle, or read it from a script. Wait a minute…

Okay, believing that the moon landing didn’t happen is just as probable as aliens actually being responsible for planes vanishing in the Bermuda Triangle. However, soon we will be able to ask them.

Mars One, a private and not-for-profit venture, came from the minds of two Dutch men hoping to establish a permanent colony on the red planet. They plan to send four of Earth’s finest in the beginning, another four two years later, and eventually increase the population to 16 by 2024. This is a one-way ticket in case anyone was wondering (Bush, 2014).

mars one business insider com
Photo courtesy of businessinsider.com

Is there at least a bar on that thing? Hopefully they don’t send just 16 men or just 16 women, then we’re really getting nowhere in our quest to populate a planet with nothing to do (maybe they should just send attractive people to start off on a good foot). Also, they need to send people that will get along. 16 individuals in closed quarters for the rest of their lives can only lead to petty drama, and it doesn’t matter how smart the people are, other’s quirks can drive even the most brilliant insane.

Over 200,000 people spanning 140 countries volunteered for the journey (Bush, 2014). That kind of proves that there are a lot more individuals than we thought that are trying to get the hell off this planet. I know a lot of people that should be rocketed out of this atmosphere and no one would miss them.

Justin Bieber sports purple animal print pants and a studded yellow cap as he leaves the Langham Hotel in London
Photo courtesy of huffingtonpost.com

The program has narrowed down the applicants to 706 and eventually hopes to cut it to 24 before the seven-year training process begins. The intelligence and the drive of some people are remarkable (maybe we shouldn’t send Bieber after all, he would ruin everything). Among the finalists, three New Mexicans are proudly in the mix: Major Ken Johnston, pilot James Wertz, and UNM grad student Zachary Gallegos who states, “Humans are meant to live, to learn, to explore (Bush 2014).” Any New Mexican is an obvious choice for the launch because they have the most experience with what could lurk in the outskirts of another planet.

alien taraustralis com
Photo courtesy of taraustralis.com

Why are we doing this? Of course, knowledge, exploration, and because we can; but what’s our obsession with downgrading our lifestyle in order to provide a new world for people in hundreds of years (and that’s being generous). Remember how long it took to build this society? That’s what we have to look forward to. Are we preparing for the apocalypse and Mars is Plan B, or is this going to be a destination spot to get away? I hear Sandals is building a resort there. Either way, we can’t even get a cruise ship from port to port safely at the moment so we have some tweaking to do before sending the best of the best and the most brilliant minds 150 million miles away.

Maybe we need to keep them around a tad longer to help sort out some things on Earth. We could always just trick them to stay.

Bush, M. “Red Planet.” Albuquerque Journal 13 May 2014

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