“Wanna watch a movie, can’t sit still, Flying down to Rio, going to Brazil”
-Motorhead, “Going to Brazil”
The world’s sport takes center stage every four years. Countries fight for their flag’s colors and the pride of a nation; they give blood, sweat, and tears for their people and leave every ounce of energy out on the grassy pitch; they exhaust their bodies to no regard just to see their country’s flag wave bright in a sea of colorful jerseys and personalities.
The World Cup is different from the Olympics in that it evens the playing field by dedicating one sport for all the glory: soccer (futbol for the international readers). There’s no medal count; there’s only one winner and 31 disappointed teams that must wait four more years for an opportunity of true sporting vengeance.
There’s nothing else that matters at the moment. It’s a time for countrymen and opponents to shake hands on the field and share a drink in the stands. It’s a time for Americans to respect what the rest of the world refers to as the primary sport. It only happens every four years, geez, you can get back into your traditional June golf tournament viewing schedule next year (or between matches if you’re that impatient).
With all this being said, World Cup coverage will be provided over the course of the tournament in this blog. Like I said, nothing else matters, plus I’m live from Brazil! By Brazil I mean watching as many games as I can from where I live, and whether or not the girlfriend lets me.
Before we recap the opening ceremony and match, there are few things you need to remember: Brazil has won the most titles of everyone (5), the host country has won the tournament 6 out of 19 times, this year’s mascot is a Brazilian three-banded armadillo (Fuleco) which is pretty odd, and the United States Men’s national team’s best finish came in 1930 when they managed to place third somehow (Younger, 2014).
Some side notes: The Germans are banged up, injuries have also plagued France and Columbia, Argentina, England, and Mexico love to disappoint their fans, it’s been over 50 years since a country won back to back titles so good luck, Spain, and the South American hosts have more riding on winning the entire tournament than the Russian men’s hockey team did during the Winter Olympics earlier this year.
So what have we learned? Absolutely nothing because all the American men are thinking of football season starting in like 100 days and all the women are thinking of Christiano Ronaldo. Let’s get started, shall we?
June 12th, 2014
Pope Francis 1 J-Lo/Pit-bull 0: The Pope seemed to attract more of a joyous and calm crowd until he declared support for his home country and Brazilian rival, Argentina. On the main stage, the American-born Cuban with the name of a dog that is usually owned by Mexicans sported Brazil colors for some reason (identity crisis?), and all other of fans were still shocked that J-Lo has yet to find a 4th husband and continues to make music.
Citizens 1 Government 0: Protestors and striking laborers obviously have the upper hand, except for those ones that were tear-gassed and injured. Yes, education and employment are hot topics everywhere, but the main priority is bringing in a bunch of hooligans from across the world to terrorize your cities. However, if they drink enough and get all worked up from the bikinis and bodies roaming the beaches, they may just join in on the uprising.
Brazil 3 Crotia 1: And the Oscar goes to…Fred! Perhaps the worst call of the tournament happened already, and it conveniently provided the host team with an opening day win. The Brazilian forward took an obvious dive in the box, and the referee awarded a penalty kick that was converted by the current son of the country, Neymar, for his 2nd of the match. Croatian Manager, Niko Kovac, outrageously went on record saying the call was ‘shameful’ and Croatia didn’t receive any respect. Oh man, nothing like an Eastern European mafia starting a war with the local decapitators of the Amazon.
This could get very interesting and it’s only the first day. Keep checking in Monday-Friday for game recaps. As a fair warning, some may not be accurate and some may be stereotypical.
Younger, S. (2014). Retrieved from http://www.chicagonow.com/tween-us/2014/06/facts-about-the-world-cup/ on 6/12/2014