GERMANY AND USA ON A COLLISION COURSE; SOCCER, NOT WAR

“Out of the doubt that fills my mind, I somehow find, You and I collide”
-Howie Day, “Collide”

Monday’s action was entertaining and boring with occasional bursts of anxiety. Powerhouses collided, struggling nations competed, and an international rivalry was renewed. Oh what a world we live in.

June 16th, 2014:

Germany 4 Portugal 0: A much anticipated game turned into a rout after the Germans set the tone early, and by the end, Thomas Muller achieved a hat trick, and Cristiano Ronaldo somehow still looked good while pouting. During the first half, Portuguese defenseman, Pepe, was issued a straight red card for what officials considered fighting, but it really only included an accidental poke in the eye and then a purposeful head tapping. That ignited the German fury the rest of the game. History tells us you shouldn’t piss off German people.

Germany v Portugal: Group G - 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil
Photo courtesy of o.canada.com

Iran 0 Nigeria 0: Big whoop. The first tie of the World Cup produced no goals and some seriously poor acting. Maybe people in these countries are pretending to die during civil uprisings because some of the antics of the players while on the ground made the stadium believe that tragedy had struck. There were a few chances here and there, but overall it was a pretty uneventful match. We should all be glad it was a tie or a war may have broken out.

iran telegraph co uk
Photo courtesy of telegraph.co.uk

USA 2 Ghana 1: Vengeance took less than a minute, and then another four later on. Dempsey scored 32 seconds in the game which is somehow still just the 5th fastest goal in World Cup history. It took Ghana 81 minutes to tie the match, and then four minutes later John Brooks headed home the winning goal. A key strained hamstring and an ugly repositioned nose proved that the men’s national team left it all on the field in one of the most thrilling and important victories in US soccer history, but don’t worry, Sportscenter still was able to dedicate half their show to Lebron James and the Heat. Can’t soccer fans just have one month every four years? Geez.

Today’s Slate:
Belgium vs. Algeria: 12pm EST
Brazil vs. Mexico: 3pm EST
Russia vs. Korea Republic: 6pm EST

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