MY BAD, REST OF COUNTRY

“Drained and blue, I bleed for you, You think it’s funny, Well you’re drowning in it too”
-Alice in Chains, “No Excuses”

Another day filled with joyous emotion and disappointment. Raucous crowds filled the stadium to support the host continent’s representatives, a coastal nation from directly across the pond proved to be more to handle than expected, two world class forwards showing the world what they can do, and two countries that desperately need a win to avoid elimination squared off. However, some teams had some serious apologizing to do after their performances.

June 19th, 2014

Columbia 2 Ivory Coast 1: The first half lacked luster; the most entertaining part being a stray balloon popped by a Colombian player on the field and another ball that rolled onto the playing area for some reason. What the hell was going on in the stands? The second half, however, was fast-paced and frantic. Rodriguez and Quintero scored six minutes apart, but the Ivory Coast quickly cut the lead in half minutes later. The South Americans held on and danced their way closer to the second round. They made Shakira very proud with their goal celebrations.

Col bbc co uk
Photo courtesy of bbc.co.uk

Uruguay 2 England 1: Suarez, Rooney, Suarez again. The knee looked fine after having surgery only a month ago, and the Uruguay forward scored early and late to keep the country’s hopes for advancement alive. Rooney ended his World Cup scoring drought by netting is first ever tournament goal to tie the game midway through the second half; this being his third attempt at international glory. He should have had three goals in this game alone, but inches have led to the almost certain departure of England. At least they have the memories of their opposition’s ridiculously skin-tight Puma jerseys to make fun of while watching the rest of the tournament in a pub over some warm pints. Anything to avoid saying sorry to the queen.

Suarez mashable com
Photo courtesy of mashable.com

Japan 0 Greece 0: This game was a snoozer, but had huge meaning in the group stage. If Greece were to win, their game against Ivory Coast would decide who moved onto the second round; if Japan were to win they could have had a legitimate shot against Colombia who already advanced and may be resting their players. However, the Greek captain received a red card in the first half, and Japan couldn’t score one goal against an opposition that had one less player. An apology needs to be given to Greece countryman by the guy with the black hair and the beard, or the other guy with the black hair and the beard, or that one guy with the black hair and the beard. I thought the Japanese were the ones that all looked alike?

greece telegraph co uk
Photo courtesy of telegraph.co.uk

Today’s Slate:
Italy vs. Costa Rica
Switzerland vs. France
Honduras vs. Ecuador

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