ALL BUT FOUR REMAIN UNHAPPY

“’Cause you’re hot then you’re cold, You’re yes then you’re no, You’re in then you’re out, You’re up then you’re down.”
-Katy Perry, “Hot N Cold”

It’s been a long year of waiting, hoping the results of the first ever College Football playoff would change the game forever. Universities were making their claim to be one of the top four teams at the beginning of the year, like politicians campaigning for primaries ten years in advance or whatever. Alumni pleaded their cases to uninterested bar patrons who could care less about how good Alabama’s offense looked in spring training. Sports fans with no affiliation to any quality football program told others with no affiliation to sports why this mattered so much. Now, the wait is over.

The era of the dreaded BCS concluded last January with a spectacular game between Florida St. and Auburn. Read all about it here: http://clknauf.com/2014/01/13/breaking-up-with-the-bcs/ because apparently I’m one of those aforementioned sports fans who talk about this subject a lot.

Now that you’re done reading the other post (you probably didn’t) we can analyze the inaugural four College Football Playoff teams:

No. 1- Alabama: They have a good offense, ask that dude from the bar. With arguably the best wide receiver in college football, Amari Cooper, and an experienced coaching staff who has won national championships before, the Crimson Tide looks to prove that the SEC will always be the strongest conference. The committee had to have an SEC team in the picture, if not then the playoff would be extended to six teams instead of just four next year.

AC al com
Photo courtesy of al.com

No 2.- Oregon: Perhaps the most complete team of the bunch, and led by the Heisman trophy winner, quarterback Marcus Mariota, the Ducks are out to finally fly over the hump of winning the big game. An offense that seems unstoppable and a ball-hawking defense are the perfect combination to take home the championship; that, plus shiny helmets, psychedelic uniforms, and the strongest mascot in all the land (if compared to real ducks).

MM walterfootball com
Photo courtesy of walterfootball.com

No. 3- Florida St.: The defending champions, a team who has not been defeated in two regular seasons, have snuck their way into the playoff by surviving upsets and sloppy play. There is no way the committee could have left a 12-0 team from a power conference out of the national semifinal, so we wait to see the Jameis Winston who won the Heisman last year, or the immature college student who stole crabs, or got crabs, or stood on a table and yelled something about crabs. I’m not sure.

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Photo courtesy of cbssports.com

No. 4- Ohio St.: Let the griping begin. The coveted fourth spot was earned by the Buckeyes with their stunning pummeling of Wisconsin in the Big Ten championship game, all on the shoulders of third string quarterback Cardale Jones. They lost two Heisman trophy candidates in the same season, but with Urban Meyer at the helm, no opponent is safe, including a certain southern program he knows all too well. Hopefully nothing illegal comes up again.

NCAA Football: Illinois at Ohio State
Photo courtesy of foxsports.com

Baylor and TCU were the two teams left out of the mix with the best claim to the last spot. However, it took the committee an all-nighter to figure out this one when I will tell you what put the Buckeyes over the top: The Minnesota Golden Gophers. TCU’s big win of the season was early and at home against Minnesota. Ohio State defeated the Golden Gophers in Minnesota during a late season conference matchup. TCU also lost their head to head matchup against Baylor, so the Horned Frogs’ chances were slim. Baylor, on the other hand, shared the Big 12 title by defeating #9 Kansas St. at home on the last game of the season 38-27. However, Ohio State defeated #13 Wisconsin on a neutral field, the final score being 59-0. Both the Bears and the Buckeyes losses came to average teams with Virginia in their name. Their auditions during the statement games finalized the decision of the committee.

Of course, expansion has already been brought up. Why not six teams? Why not eight teams? Why can’t half the schools be from the SEC? Why not teams with the best mascots or cutest cheerleaders? Why not sixty-four teams then, just like March Madness? That way we can break the students down all for the sake of money and making everyone happy. Except for the 65th team who thought they should have been in the playoffs.

The truth is that there will be more angry universities than happy ones concerning their ranking whether it is the BCS, the playoff, or that cool mascot/cheerleader tournament that was briefly suggested in the above paragraph. The solution: play better football when it matters. Make a more difficult schedule, beat the better teams, make a bigger statement, and just get the job done through hard work. If you do, the committee will take notice. There’s always next year, but just enjoy the damn thing for what it is.

Semifinals: January 1st, 2015
ROSE BOWL: 3) Florida St. vs. 2) Oregon- 3pm MST
SUGAR BOWL: 4) Ohio St. vs. 1) Alabama- 6:30pm MST

National Championship: January 12th, 2015 in Jerry’s World (Cowboy (AT&T) Stadium) at 6:30pm MST
PREDICTION: Oregon- 35 Alabama- 24 (Quack Quack)

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Photo courtesy of imgarcade.com

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