“My boyfriend’s back and you’re gonna be in trouble.”
-The Angels, “My Boyfriend’s Back”
Americans love to hate champions, especially when they win often. There’s something about repeat offenders. It’s kind of like that guy who always gets the girl, but you can’t really do anything about it because his moves are good and his game is top notch. Wait, I thought I was trying to make a comparison to the Super Bowl; somehow it was related to Tom Brady.
January 18th, 2015: Seattle 28 Green Bay 22 (OT)
The Seahawks did not win this game, the Packers lost it. This wasn’t some magical comeback, it wasn’t because of the 12th Man, and it wasn’t earned, but it was simply given away. That was an over-exaggeration, Seattle is certainly a good and deserving enough to team to reach the Super Bowl two years in a row, but when your defense was essentially dominated and your offense even worse, you don’t deserve to win the football game. Of course, if you can only kick field goals, take a knee off an interception with three minutes left for some ridiculous reason, and drop an onside kick, you probably don’t deserve to win either. An ugly game, Giselle was not impressed or attracted to either team.
January 18th, 2015: New England 45 Indianapolis 7
The Colts upset the Broncos, and the football world believed that Andrew Luck was about to start his reign in the postseason. Then they went to Foxboro and lost just like everyone does, and they lost by a lot just like most teams do. There’s nothing special about the Patriots; they win with efficient play and great coaching, yet people despise the organization outside of the New England area. Remember, people, the Patriots haven’t won a Super Bowl in a decade so why are you complaining? The early game was ugly, the second game had no personality. The ladies aren’t liking this, fellas.
Maybe people dislike the Patriots because of the cheating allegations that have turned out to be complete nonsense because the Media needed something to talk about for two weeks before the Super Bowl because there are only two teams left and one game. It’s filler. Deflated balls are easier to grip, correct, but didn’t the referees notice when they were touching the balls on every play? “Deflate-gate” is about as stupid as players being forced to talk to the media. Marshawn Lynch looks like he would have been a trouble-maker in the classroom at a younger age. Maybe he doesn’t like the Media, or he has some weird Law & Order: SVU condition that he is subconsciously holding onto? However, it’s part of his job and in his contract to talk to the press even if he’s simply stating, “Thank you for asking,” or, “I’m only here so I don’t get fined.” Running the ball is also part of his job, and he does that very well, so it balances his performance evaluations out. Hopefully this doesn’t somehow turn into a racial thing, but who knows these days. Can’t we all just get along and play some football? I feel I shouldn’t have phrased it that way.
February 1st, 2015: New England 28 Seattle 24
Let’s get the really important things out of the way: the commercials and Katy Perry. Dodge, Doritos, and Snickers provided some quality laughs, Nationwide and T-Mobile had good (Mindy & Silverman) and bad (dead children & Kardashian-West) commercials which was a little odd, and Budweiser used animal life to take home the “cutest” award and distract the general public from the fact that people usually drink their product with the purpose of intoxication instead of relaxation. Katy Perry was weird and decent (which was expected), but Missy Elliot shouldn’t have been invited as a guest act because no one even wants to invite her to a Super Bowl party let alone the halftime show at the game.
At least the contest was great, and fans needed the excitement to make up for last year’s debacle. The Patriots persevered and the Seahawks finally ran out of luck. After a hot start from New England, Seattle ended the first half with an equalizing touchdown, and eventually took a ten point lead into the fourth quarter. Then that one guy did his thing. Tom Brady led two scoring drives, in large part due to the assistance of Julian Edelman, to earn a four-point lead with two minutes remaining, but giving the ball to Russell Wilson and letting him do what he does best; except he didn’t. A lucky catch (some skill involved) brought the Seahawks inside the five yard line, and the game was pretty much in hand if they just handed the ball to Lynch, but again they didn’t, and Wilson was intercepted by undrafted rookie Malcolm Butler on a questionable, but validated play call. An ice-cold veteran, a tough and utilitarian receiver, and an unlikely hero propelled New England to their fourth Super Bowl title.
What did we learn? Brady completed the most passes in a single Super Bowl, and also surpassed Montana as the all-time leader in touchdown throws as he hurled four more, so it seems “deflated” balls really don’t make a difference. Also, the Seahawks are sore losers as they started a fight at the end of the game which was simply pathetic and the prefect display of poor sportsmanship. Good job, Patriots; grow up, Seattle. Lastly, the guy once again came back and got the girl (if the girl was a trophy, and some are considered to be).