HAPPY 2015! DAMMIT, I MEAN “2016”

“It seems such a waste of time, If that’s what it’s all about, Mama if that’s movin’ up, Then I’m movin’ out.”
-Billy Joel, “Movin’ Out”

It’s that time of the year again; the time were everyone realizes they should have made a change months ago, if not last New Year’s Day or the one before or the one five years before then. As Joe Dirt once said, “The past is past, the future’s now.”



Photo courtesy of fashionstyle.com


I’m sure other more-credible people than a hilarious fictional character portrayed by David Spade have said the phrase or even provided the world with better guidance, but we don’t have the time to search the ends of the earth for every amateur philosopher; plus, you just have to listen when someone with a mullet gives sound advice because it’s just so damn unexpected.

So here we are, on the verge of a new change, a new resolution season for the common resolutionaires (if that’s a real term, you know what, it is now, making up new terms is on my list for 2016). It’s difficult to maintain a promise to yourself when you’ve become so accustomed to what makes you comfortable. Here’s my list.

-Be more patient.
-Spend more time with family.
-Publish a few more books and screenplays.
-Ghost write more and more… and more.
-Progress in the piano and in sports.
-Write an album.
-Stay healthy.
-Try not to write “2015” on any of my documents.
-Try not to hear a Maroon 5 song.

Judging by the last two, I’m not off to a good start. I messed up the title (and left it obviously) and I heard “Sugar” or whatever that annoying high-pitched song is called this morning at the gym. However, that just proves some things are not in your control. Another example is saying that my New Year’s resolution is for the Redskins to win the Super Bowl (and not change their name). Hail!


Photo courtesy of oddshark.com


What should you do? Start simple, don’t go all out and shock your body and mind. If you want to get healthy then take it one step at a time; if you want to get a new job be patient and consider all advantages and disadvantages; if you want to progress then practice; if you want to stop being lazy then stop being fooled by influences and hypnotized by reality television; and if you want to be less stressed out then stop concentrating on the all the bull shit the world is doing. Which brings us to the next question: what should the world do? Stop all the bull shit, duh.

I was going to put a picture of something here, but it’s better we move on from the heinous acts we witnessed in 2015. 

Just like you don’t have control to change everything on your list, we don’t have control to change the world (yet). It’s a slippery slope from little things like issues that only affect a tiny percentage of the population, but are put on the grand stand by the media and pushy activists no one truly respects and quickly becomes annoyed with, to the chaotic turmoil that the world has brought upon itself. In other words, focus on yourself. Maybe if each of us makes a small amount of change then we can alter the world in a better direction in a cumulative sense. Remember, keep it simple, the answers are easier than you think.

Give it a month to stay on track and we will see how we all do (whoever is reading this that is, so like 2 people including me). The past is past and the future is now.



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